Giant New RAF Plane Has Exits Here, Here And Here

Squaddies will be able to play Call Of Duty all the way to the war

The RAF proudly unveiled its largest-ever aircraft to the world’s media today, insisting that it was a starship called Voyager and certainly not a bog-standard Airbus A330 airliner with a couple of spare fuel tanks bolted on.

The fleet of 14 Airb- Voyagers will replace the RAF’s knackered old VC10s and Tristars - which had to be retired due to the soaring cost of string - and will be paid for by you and your children on the never-never, or PFI as it is jokingly referred to in government circles.

“On behalf of Group Captain Janeway, let me welcome you aboard the Airb- Voyager, which is 58.6m long with a wingspan of 60.3m, has a range of nearly 6,000 miles and is capable of carrying almost 300 troops in economy class or 120 air vice-marshals in business first,” enthused busty Flight Lieutendant Seven Of Nine, as reporters eagerly crowded aboard the Airb- Voyager looking for the duty-free trolley and hoping to cop a quick feel .

The Airb- Voyager then took off from RAF Gatwick for a short flight around the Delta Quadrant, from which it is expected to return in about 75 years.