Did Distraction-Seeking Rebekah Brooks Deliberately Induce Birth Of Little Blake's Seven Beckham?

Guns don't come much smokier than this

Speculation is mounting that evil Rebekah Brooks may have cynically tickled an unsuspecting Victoria Beckham’s flaps with a feather duster until innocent little baby daughter Blake's Seven popped out, in a desperate attempt to distract the British public from her increasingly-endangered position at the top of Rupert Murdoch’s crumbling Scum International empire.

Meanwhile, as the ripples from the hacking scandal spread around the world, some of the greatest news stories of the last 30 years are being re-examined for traces of illegal Murdoch handiwork.

Questions now being asked include:

- Has Rupert Murdoch greedily swallowed up all the world’s cash, hurling the global economy into chaos, just to run endless stories blaming the poor, the sick and the disabled?

- Did cynical New York Times reporters secretly plant giant airliner-attracting magnets in the World Trade Center in 2001 in order to get the story of the millenium?

- Was the populist collapse of the Soviet Union hastened by mass airdrops of unputdownable Western-style scandal sheets full of lurid stories detailing the Politburo’s secretary-shagging exploits?

- Did sleazy Sun hacks don ponchos and droopy moustaches and occupy the remote penguin colony of South Georgia just to engineer the Falklands war so they could run their notorious ‘Gotcha’ front page?

- Will we all have forgotten about this by August?