BBC Press Release Distribution System Completely Unaffected By Journalists’ Strike

This is the news from the BMW

As BBC journalists mount the first of their 24-hour walkouts, viewers have so far been unable to discern any difference between the steady stream of straight-to-air corporate press releases and the hard-hitting investigative insights for which the broadcaster is world-renowned.

“I never knew BMW was such an environmentally-sound manufacturer, until the BBC vouchsafed their green credentials this morning,” said viewer Starchild Moonflower, of Glastonbury. “With its impressive 63 miles per gallon of diesel and emissions of only 119 grammes of carbon dioxide per kilometre, it sounds like the 2012-model BMW 320d is definitely the car for the eco-warrior of tomorrow. Thanks for the heads up, BBC.”

Many viewers have also had their notions of Rupert Murdoch utterly reversed this morning, thanks to extensive BBC coverage of his vigorous denial of all the accusations of corporate hacking and corruption levelled against him in the last two weeks.

“It just goes to show that, standing head and shoulders above the opportunistic bottom-feeders of the global media industry, only the dear old BBC has the guts to go against the flow and report the truth, showing a commendable disregard for the dead hand of ill-informed and ignorant popular opinion,” read a secretary hastily pushed in front the BBC Breakfast autocue. “Is it for sale? Signed R.Murdoch, J.Murdoch and R.Brooks.”