Cameron Bangs Wrists Together And Pushes Out Lower Lip At Senior Policeman

Will that be all, prime minister?

The war of words over the prime minister’s blue-sky thinking on police reform escalated today as David Cameron provocatively smacked his wrists together and pushed his tongue into his lower lip whilst shouting, “Hewwo, I’m Sir Hugh Orde” after the president of the Association of Chief Police Officers lambasted the PM’s proposals for importing foreign police chiefs as “simply stupid”.

Sir Hugh later responded to the prime minister’s taunts with impressive dignity, saying: “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but the words of a compulsive bedwetter who plays with himself constantly cannot hurt me.”