Greek Citizens Not Entirely Pleased By Prospect Of Lifelong Penury

Calm down now, chaps, it's for your own good you know

The people of Greece are reacting somewhat churlishly to the financial world’s generous offer of pinning a lifetime of crushing poverty on them in return for the noble goal of saving the eurozone from imminent meltdown, warn Europe’s leading economists, as they give vent to an unwarranted level of ingratitude by laying waste the central business district of Athens.

“What these bumptious goatshaggers need to understand is that the euro is the crowning glory of two-and-a-half thousand years of European civilisation, which of course began in their very own back yard,” said a spokesman for the International Monetary Fund. “Even if it has largely left them behind for the last two thousand or so. They should be bloody proud of the euro, and see it as a privilege to abandon their entirely unreasonable pipe-dreams of prosperity to ensure its continued existence.”