Obama To Prove Nationality By Claiming USA Invented Everything And Calling All Foreigners ‘Cocksucking Fags’

As American as Jesus Christ himself, you limey kraut faggots

As mischief-makers led by Donald Trump – undaunted by any documentary evidence - doggedly continue to claim that Barack Obama is African, the president is to take the unusual step of posting comments on every single YouTube clip to the effect that everything that has ever been invented from cave-painting onwards is the sole product of all-American genius.

He will further demonstrate his true American heritage by calling anyone who dares to query his observations “a goddamm limey cocksuking FAG”, telling them to get over the War of Independence and inviting them to “burn in HELL” before reminding them of their love of the cock in their “ASS”.

He will then clinch his legitimacy as a citizen of the USA beyond a shadow of a doubt by explaining, “i naled yr mutha FAGOT & she beg 4 mor”, finally signing off with a final witticism on the diverse nature of human sexuality before discovering a clip of a 4WD pickup with unfeasibly large tyres driving over a row of Toyotas and staring at it over and over, whooping and punching the air repeatedly, for the rest of the day.