Friday, 29 April 2011

Kate Middleton From Another Dimension Whisked Away From Westminster Abbey By Detectives

Christ, there could be hundreds of them
A frightened Kate Middleton From Another Dimension was discovered hiding under a UFO inside Westminster Abbey just minutes from the start of the royal wedding ceremony, according to an unconfirmed source sitting somewhere very close to the organ.

Details are somewhat patchy so far, due to being partially drowned out by the source playing loud bass notes with the pedals, but it appears that sharp-eyed royal detectives spotted the interdimensional interloper trying to blend in with all the other flying saucer-sporting commoners.

As plain-clothes detectives with pillboxes, orchids, boats and objects known unto God nailed to their foreheads converged on the alien imposter the papers are already calling ‘Alternatey Katie’, she emitted an unearthly polyphonic scream and tried to flee – only to run into the upheld ceremonial mace of Inspector Savage of the Royal Protection Squad.

The source insists he heard the doppelganger begging for asylum and claiming that, in Dimension 10, she had barely managed to evade 5,000 police officers who had spent the whole night rounding up every member of the alternative royal family on suspicion of conspiracy to commit a breach of the peace – namely, blocking off the whole of central London and several major arterial roads, forcing shops and businesses to lock their doors for the day, openly calling for millions of people to take to the streets of Britain and causing severe interference to the schedules of the nation’s broadcasters.

A spokesman for Sctoland Yard told our reporter: “Eyes back on the telly, sonny.”

1 comment:

r.b. said...

Brilliant.

Thanks for the laugh!