Monday 25 April 2011

Libyan Rebels Scent Victory As NATO Missiles Take Out Gaddafi’s Parlour

Every mirror cracked by NATO will bring Gaddafi seven years' bad luck
Last night’s surgical strike by NATO against Colonel Gaddafi’s plushest reception parlour is being hailed this morning as the decisive victory which will bring down the hated despot’s regime, according to ecstatic rebel leaders.

Libyan state TV footage of the devastation shows irreparable damage to a strategic chandelier, and several paintings were clearly askew. Senior NATO intelligence officers Kim Woodburn and Aggie MacKenzie, who masterminded the strike, were confident that forces loyal to the brutal Libyan dictator will face serious difficulties in their efforts to hoover concrete dust out of the thick pile carpet.

“Deprived of a pleasant luncheon environment, Gaddafi will find his ability to co-ordinate the battle plans of his armies to be seriously degraded,” said a confident NATO spokesman. “How can he effectively organise the recapture of the east when he’s constantly fishing tiny chunks of plaster out of his coffee?”

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