Living In A Box

David Cameron has been singing the praises of cardboard boxes today, revealing that his baby daughter Florence sleeps happily in the makeshift cot he improvised on holiday in Cornwall from the packaging the Aga was delivered in.

“Obviously Florence’s early arrival caught us on the hop, as it were,” beamed the prime minister, “So I had a quick scout around our humble cottage, and in the east wing I found a room I didn’t even know we had, filled with packaging that the interior decorators had rather sloppily left behind.”

“Don’t worry, I’ve made a deduction from their fee,” he chuckled.

“By the time Sam and the baby were ready to leave hospital, I’d knocked up a cosy little cot from cardboard box the Aga came in, complete with a playroom and ensuite nappy-changing facilities,” enthused the proud dad. “Dear little Flo loves it so much, she hasn’t come out in weeks, even after we transplanted it into Number Ten. So now we’ve added an extension for the live-in nanny.”

“You know, when I look at the cost of property today and compare that to the sort of wages the peasants are earning, I can see more and more people choosing to take up residence in an attractively-priced cardboard box,” mused Mr Cameron. “In fact, my hope is that, one day in the not-too-distant future, we’ll even see entire cardboard cities springing up on under-utilised land – you know, like infilled refuse tips and whatnot. Rest assured, I shall certainly be doing all that I can to encourage that.”

“And best of all, cardboard boxes are only classed as Band A for council tax,” he added with a smile. “And they say Conservatives only look after the wealthy.”

And you don't need planning permission, either