BNP Leader Offers To Lend Cameron ‘Battle Of Britain’ DVD

BNP leader Nick Angriff has kindly volunteered to take his treasured DVD of the 1969 movie ‘The Battle of Britain’ round to Number 10 Downing Street this afternoon, following prime minister David Cameron’s colossal gaffe in which he spoke of Britain as the ‘”junior partner” in the dark days of 1940.

“I was going to have tea with the Queen at a garden party this afternoon,” smiled Mr Angriff, “But apparently there was some problem with not enough chairs or whatever. One of her footmen rang at the last minute, to ask if I wouldn’t mind awfully if she told me to take my bigoted, racist views and drown them in a bucket along with the rest of my toxic little band of Nazis. I understand this is the standard formal statement issued by the palace in such circumstances, and am more than happy to help my sovereign lady ruler out of an embarrassing spot.”

“As I seem to have a couple of hours free, I thought I could do my bit for my country by dropping off my treasured copy of the best film ever made for the prime minister’s benefit,” he went on. “He can watch it when he gets back from America, and I’d be delighted to pop round with a big bag of crisps and talk him through any bits that he might find hard to understand. After he’s washed his hands, obviously. I saw him on TV shaking hands with a nig-nog, and I don’t want black DNA on my favourite disc.”

Warming to his theme, Mr Angriff told reporters it could be a hard film to follow, with so many nationalities wheeling around in the skies shooting each other down.

“Basically, any plane with red, white and blue circles on it is absolutely 100% English, even that one with a little red-and-white checkered square on the nose,” he explained, “That’s just a reference to the famous brainless English pilot, Wing Commander Oswald Mosley DSO DFC, who was notoriously partial to a slice of Battenburg cake with his afternoon tea.”

“On the other hand,” continued Mr Angriff, his wonky eye swivelling wildly with enthusiasm, “Anything with black crosses on it will be full of Polish, Czech, French, Dutch, Belgian and Norwegian fanatics hell-bent on destroying everything we hold dear.”

“And a lot of them were darkies, too,” he added. “I think most of them were, actually, come to think of it. Apart from that pilot who casually lights up a fag after parachuting to safety. He’s got to be French. They all smoke like chimneys.”