The battle is on to see which soulless machine politician will take the helm of the Labour Party, with a flood of Miliband clones throwing their identical hats into the ring.
After Miliband Two threw down the gauntlet to his brother Miliband One, Miliband after Miliband stepped from a throbbing metal casket operated by former prime minister Tony Blair to offer party members a tantalising array of choices.
“Brotherly love will survive, because brotherly love is stronger than politics,” chorused the army of Miliband candidates, staring blankly ahead.
Miliband One is expected to focus his campaign on economic and social issues, while Miliband Two is likely to make social and economic issues a priority. The agendas of Milibands Three to n are not yet known, and seasoned observers say it would be rash at this stage to make any guesses.
The few members of the Labour Party who are not also members of the Miliband family are waiting to find out if Ed Balls seriously believes that anyone likes him, whilst backbench MP Jon Cruddas – thought to be the last remaining socialist on Earth – is locked in talks with Mrs Miliband over the possibility of adoption, fuelling rumours that he has already booked an appointment with a leading Harley Street plastic surgeon.
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