With the formation of Britain’s first coalition government since 1945, just what are the key political assignations ceded to the Liberal Democrats?
Deputy Dawg: Nick Clegg. Mr Clegg will use this key position to radically influence the new government’s policies, in much the same way that John Prescott influenced Tony Blair.
Stationery Cupboard: Vince Cable. Armed with his trusty Casio fx-85, the redoubtable Lib Dem financial wizard will bring his formidable calculator to bear on Whitehall’s stocks of pastel-shaded A4.
Flowerpot Man: Chris Huhne. The other Liberal Democrat the public have heard of will be responsible for telling the public we’re all going to die at regular intervals. The messages, that is. Not the dying.
Head Prefect: possibly David Laws. Mr Laws is expected to receive a shiny badge.
Pict-Goader: possibly Danny Alexander. The incumbent will have the key role of being moaned at rather a lot by the SNP.
Meanwhile, the Green Party has opened its hairy arms to any Lib Dem MPs terrified at the prospect of having some responsibility for the first time in their lives.
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