Friday 30 April 2010

Apple: You Can't Run Flash Clips Because You're So Superior To PC-Owning Scum

Insufferable pricks who think they're better than you because they paid over the odds for an electronic toy with an Apple logo found out today that the reason they can't watch Flash clips on their electronic toys is because they're better than you.

"Your IPod, iPad or iPhone won't run Flash because that comes from the age of PCs and mice, i.e. now," smirked Apple's head prick, Steve Jobs. "Even if we permitted you to let yourselves down by allowing Flash on our gorgeous products, they would run poorly. That's because your Apple device would be having serious second thoughts about whether you deserved to own it, and certainly not because the hardware inside the sleek, desirable casing is in any way inadequate for simple, everyday tasks."

Insufferable Apple owners nodded sagely on reading Mr Jobs' open letter, satisfied that their inability to watch half the internet was further incontrovertible proof of their aesthetic purity.

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