The British ambassador to the Vatican issued a grovelling governmental apology, after it emerged that a damnation-bound junior official in the Foreign Office circulated an internal briefing note making ridiculous suggestions, such as - among other degrading absurdities - the Pope launching a child-abuse helpline and maybe sacking a few dodgy bishops during his state visit later this year.
Repentant Foreign Secretary Miliband One appeared on the Andrew Marr Plays Guitar Show this morning, lying prostrate on the studio floor in a hair shirt, to reassure the world's most respected witch-doctor that anybody in Britain daring to question his mumbo-jumbo organisation would be persuaded into repentance according to the tried-and-tested methods laid down in the Malleus Maleficorum.
In accordance with those guidelines, he added, the nation would be shown the horrific instruments of persuasion in a TV documentary series prior to the papal visit.
"I'd also like to take this opportunity to express Britain's deep regret for forcing our repugnant denazifying values on the Pope in the aftermath of World War II," he added. "We now realise that the years he spent in the Hitler Youth were a marvellous preparation for the day when he would rise in a position to tell millions of people what to think."
Meanwhile, Wing Commander 'Buffy' Pilkington, the former RAF officer who yesterday suggested a low-level flypast by the Battle of Britain Memorial Flight's Lancaster - to remind the Pope of the happy times he spent blasting similar aircraft and their crews from the skies with his Flak gun - has been placed aboard a special train, which is travelling east to a new but strangely unspecified homeland set aside by His Holiness for all non-Catholics.
1 comment:
Can't help but mention the shocking low standard of satire in the Civil Service.
A Pope who was in the Hitler Youth.
"Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?"
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