London was being dismantled brick-by-brick by tens of millions of baying neo-Stalinist anarchobourgeois extremopacifist Islamochristoid cryptovegans yesterday, who used big magnets to drag helpless police officers away from their allotted tasks of patting small children on the head and rescuing fluffy kittens from trees, sucking them into their seething ranks and viciously headbutting their batons.
"Look at this uniform," sobbed PC Civilised of the Legitimate Squad. "Some screaming enviromentalist thug showered me with blood and teeth. I'll never get these stains out, unless I use a fast-acting non-bio made from pandas."
The war is expected to escalate today, with the police bringing up tanks, assault helicopters and tactical nuclear delivery systems and the protesters expected to unleash bigger placards.
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