Friday, 3 April 2009

Politicians Agree To Act On Soaring G-Inflation

The G20 summit has been hailed as a huge success, after the world's richest nations agreed on measures to prevent rampant G-inflation from spiralling out of control.

"We began to notice G-inflation back in 1975, when the G6 appeared out of nowhere," said Gordon Brown. "Back then only Britain, West Germany, France, Italy, Japan and the United States were affected, and it was believed that we could keep it in check. Only a year later, however, the figure leapt to G7 when Canada became involved. Then we caught the French hiding a G8 which included the former Soviet Union."

"By 2009, things were in danger of getting completely out of hand," US President Obama. "It now transpires that we failed to notice a G10 that's been knocking around since 1962, the Christians have their own G12 and there's even talk of a G33 lurking somewhere in the southern hemisphere. It doesn't take a genius to work out that, at some point, the world's supply of countries will simply dry up. It may not happen in our lifetimes - but we have to act now, or future generations will never forgive us."

Initial discussions centred on Mr Brown's plan to create more countries through devolution and regional independence, which would have seen Britain split into England, Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland, Cornwall and the revival of the Socialist Republic of South Yorkshire, and the break-up of the United States into 50 separate nations. However, talks stalled when it was pointed out that this would only postpone the day when everyone on Earth had a country all of their own.

Instead, a simpler, more elegant solution was agreed which involves starting a new round of meetings beginning with the letter H. The first item on the agenda of the forthcoming H1 summit will be what to do when Z is reached.

The world's leaders then ate a panda and posed for photographs with the Queen, who told President Obama's wife Michelle that she was one's best mate in the whole world before being formally groped by Silvio Berluscruki.

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