The BBC Trust has admitted that the first letters sent out to people without a television may be seen by some as "too harsh", following complaints from MPs and a public consultation.
"TV Licensing should do more to target the hardcore of evaders to make sure that everyone who shouldn't pay, does pay," said chairman Mad Sir Michael Lyons.
"For reasons known only to themselves, certain members of the public who don't own a telly appear to take great exception to being threatened with a baseball bat, kneecapping and the kidnapping and phased dismemberment of their children if they do not immediately hand us £142.50 to pay for broadcasts they don't receive," he explained. "So maybe in the first instance we'll just send the boys round in a detector van to explain that making Dr Who ain't cheap, and politely ask them for a generous contribution to our expenses."
"However, if they don't cough up there and then, I reckon we're perfectly within our rights to beef up subsequent demands for payment," continued Mad Sir Michael. "I'm in favour of cutting the brakes on their motor, though other board members have suggested scarring them with a Stanley, or simply cutting our losses and putting a bullet in their head as a warning to others."