Wednesday, 13 August 2008

Showbiz Wedding of the Century as Peaches Geldof Marries Somebody, Probably Male But Who Knows

In what is being hailed as the showbiz wedding of the century, Peaches Geldof has married her boyfriend Max Drummey in Las Vegas after meeting him for the first time backstage at the iTunes festival last month.

The lavish ceremony, held in The Holy Drive-Thru Chapel of Eternal Bliss, was attended by the cream of Las Vegas society, 45-year-old cleaner Ed Nowicki and his mother Betty who had stopped by to pick him up after work. Mr Dummy - whose indie band Chester French are planning to release a single one day - gave a ring made out of a pretzel to the 19-year-old celebrity daughter of scruffy, washed-up guilt-peddler Bob Geldof and barmy, dead strop-merchant Paula Yates. After she said ‘Yeh wotever” Reverend Jim-Bob pronounced them man and wife, announced “No refunds” and, removing his clip-on dog collar, jumped into the driver’s seat of the taxicab that would whisk the newly-weds off to their exotic honeymoon location, Hombre’s $15-a-Nite Atomic Motel.

“Ah had a tear in mah eye as they gave me the fare, which covered the entire wedding ceremony,” said Reverend Jim-Bob afterwards. “Ah said ah din’ have change of a twenny, but they were so happy they tol’ me ta jus’ keep the change.”

“Mah good fren’ Dwayne the county judge tells me they’ve already booked a dee-vorce in the mornin’,” he added.

Saint Bob Geldof said he was happy for his daughter and his new son-in-law, whoever he might be.

"Oi think she said he sor her on telly last year," said St Bob. "I hope their pointless travesty of a marriage is as happy as my pointless travesty of a marriage was."

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