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“Hello, good evening and welcome. Unlike GPs - whose so-called ‘patients’ are almost certainly splitting their ill-gotten benefits 50/50 with them, I dare say - an independent panel on a lucrative government contract will of course be completely and utterly impartial,” droned Mr Frost, whose vast knowledge of Powerpoint and minutes of previous meetings uniquely qualifies him to weigh up complex medical factors. “Just like Atos Medical, in fact, who richly deserve the completely and utterly impartial bonuses they get for depriving the sick and disabled of their benefits. And, of course, it will be through its absolute independence that the panel will meet the government’s arbitrary target of telling 20% of the disabled to fuck off down the dole office and start looking for jobs they can do perfectly well whilst crying their eyes out in pain and misery.”
Dame Carol, concurring, then moved an extraordinary motion of remunerative gratitude to herself and Mr Frost, which was unanimously carried by themselves.