More Spacker Jokes Please, Golden Globes Organisers Beg Gervais

What the beautiful people can look forward to

The undisputed god of comedy, Ricky Gervais, has once more been invited to host the annual Golden Globes awards ceremony - but only, say organisers, on the strict condition that he peppers every sentence with his pants-wettingly ironic views on Down’s Syndrome.

“Gervais – who all comedians are now contractually obliged to pray to at the start of every gig – is the perfect host for this glamorous ceremony in front of Tinseltown’s beautiful people,” said a spokesman for the Hollywood Foreign Press Association. “And you can bet your sweet ass, buddy, none of them are mongs.”

Broadcaster NBC, which will be televising Gervais’ string of hilarious crip-based insults, later confirmed that the funniest man in the world will be bringing along his little stumpy prop Warwick Davis, tossing him into the crowd and inviting the assembled glitterati to join in what it promises will be a deeply moving tribute to raise public awareness of the issues faced by the disabled community.

When invited to comment on the Golden Globes, Mr Gervais pulled one of his side-splitting mong faces, went, “Awwwmmmpff ” and charged the Nev Filter £200,000.