Tuesday, 15 November 2011

Tories ‘Consistently Voiced Concerns’ About PFI Ever Since We Introduced It, Claims Twit

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure, George
Britain’s top twit, chancellor George Osborne, today announced that the government would be reviewing the Private Finance Initiative, after statistics showed that the future had completely run out of money to pay for all the ruinously expensive buildings cheerfully thrown up during the past two decades on the never-never.

“We Tories have consistently voiced concerns about PFI, which is why we launched it so enthusiastically in 1992,” yammered Osborne’s flapping mouth. “Developers pulling down perfectly serviceable buildings and banging out shiny new ones just to exploit a VAT loophole, then charging the public purse way over the odds for decades to come is plain bloody stupid. Only a party of criminally irresponsible dunces could even have contemplated such a crazy scheme, just because it conveniently keeps the staggering cost off the books.”

The blithering idiot who holds Britain’s economy in his feeble grasp added that he had been absolutely against PFI since taking office in May 2010 - which was why he continued to sign off new projects until the Treasury’s calculator finally exploded, when it generated a final payment date beyond the point in the far future when our planet will be engulfed by its dying sun.

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