Sunday, 20 November 2011

Church Of England Topples Government

Bearded religious fanatics, but in a good way
Millions of ecstatic Britons thronged the streets today, openly firing prayers into the air, after hearing the news that David Qameron’s hated coalition regime has at last been successfully overthrown in a desperate verbal assault by 18 Anglican bishops in this morning’s Observer.

The Archbishop of Canterbury, Dr Rowan Williams, has been formally appointed as pastoral caretaker PM by Her Majesty (Angela Merkel), and said he was working hard to form a new government of Britain’s top theocrats.

Even as the bishops were receiving their ministerial appointments, however, the search for the fugitive Colonel Qameron and his evil cohorts continued, amid speculation that they may be making a last stand in their traditional strongholds in the commuter belt or the countryside - or, in the case of Nick al-Clegg, a damp and dismal hole in the ground (either Scotland or Cornwall).

Dr John Sentamu, the Archbishop and Justice Secretary of York, told reporters: “Dearly beloved, I have gathered you here today to acknowledge the sins of the Qameron clan, who have fallen from grace and landed on their arses with an almighty thump. Although our heavenly Father in his infinite wisdom and mercy seems to have temporarily hidden them from mortal sight, yet shall we continue to look for them even, as it were, through a glass darkly. We shall seek them amongst the cedars of Surbiton. We shall not fear them, yea, even though we walk through the shadows of the valley of debt. And when at last we shall find them, there will be much wailing and gnashing of teeth as we forgive them.”

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