Echoing right-wing ‘Guido Fawkes’ blogger Paul Staines’ efforts to raise 100,000 signatures to force a Commons debate on bringing back the death penalty, another self-important nobody whose one-sided rants aren’t worth paying for has announced his intention to put branding for those convicted of the former catch-all crime of mopery back on the statute books.
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| Right, now go and find something useful to do with yourself |
“All the more so since the schools broke up for summer, the streets of our once-great nation are now teeming with unsavoury youths in damned silly headphones loitering openly with the clear intention of doing nothing in particular,” seethed Neville Mann, writer, editor and sole reader of the Nev Filter. “Gone are the days when our hamstrung police could act to nip such criminal behaviour in the bud before it leads inevitably to sheep-stealing, gin-sodden sottishness and highway robbery. It is high time we reintroduced branding with hot irons for these lurking ne’er-do-wells, and I urge 99,999 like-minded public-spirited citizens to join with me in demanding the restoration of sanity to our pavements.”
“I am not a cruel man,” insisted Mr Mann. “Whilst the thought of plucking out their eyes, hacking their hands off and sealing their oozing wounds with boiling tar gives me many a night’s pleasant dreams, nevertheless I do realise the impracticality of creating a new legion of disability benefit scroungers.”
“And I can’t condone their transportation to Australia,” he fumed, “When I, a gifted writer of rare distinction, was told I didn’t have enough bloody points to get in.”
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