Apple In Corporate Takeover Of USA

Think different

The Apple Corporation has bought the United States of America for an undisclosed sum, ex-president - now temporarily Acting CEO of Apple’s Geopolitical Resources (Transfer) Division - Barack Obama told a shocked America today in a televised address and handover ceremony.

“This ground-breaking deal makes Apple’s new iMerica instantly über-cool,” a visibly relieved Mr Obama told the nation, as he supervised the loading of a pallet-load of hundred-dollar bills aboard iForce One. “It also ensures that the bills will be paid during the transitional months as all the raw materials, plant and associated human resources are transferred to China. Ciao, guys, and stay groovy.”

Meanwhile, units of the iArmy have surrounded the Microsoft corporate campus in Redmond, WA, where a defiant Bill Gates is reported to have unilaterally declared independence from his hated rival Steve Jobs. Helicopters full of iMarines hover menacingly overhead, denying the renegade billionaire any opportunity of escaping to Canada, which he bought years ago with the profits from Windows 98SE.