Seven Out Of Ten Foreigners Blame Indigents For State Of Britain

Seven out of ten immigrants are implacably certain that all of Britain’s socio-economic woes can be laid squarely at the door of the mongrel hordes of native Britons cluttering up the country.

Bloody indigents

While three quarters of the nation’s hardworking immigrant population thought the British placed too much pressure on public services, according to the Ipsos Mori poll, only one in four thought the indigent population were good for the economy. And three out of five newcomers to the UK felt that their employment prospects are adversely affected by the indigent population’s irresponsible breeding habits flooding the labour market with teenagers who will work for less than the national minimum wage.

"Clearly, the people in Britain who do all the work are deeply concerned about the way these freeloading indigents are affecting their employment opportunities, straining public services, and impacting on a sluggish economy,” commented pollster Mike Spreadsheet. “These concerns are also reflected in many countries around the Med, who view the summer invasions of the British with distaste and contempt.”

“It’s all bloody indigents round here, jabbering away at each other in their incomprehensible lingo,” complained Eastern European mechanic Latka Gravas, who can change a truck engine with his bare hands and use an apostrophe correctly. “The sooner they all get shipped back where they belong - i.e. the caves of Cheddar Gorge - the better for those of us who are making a positive contribution to the British economy.”