Taxpayers Invited To Save Themselves A Few Bob By Declaring Open Season On Libyans

Look, we could replace those bloody great fuel tanks with bombs

As the cost of British involvement in Libyan operations soars to £120m, with the cost of replacing expensive laser-guided munitions estimated at another £140m, swivel-eyed defence secretary Dr Liam Fox tempted hard-pressed taxpayers with the attractive offer of saving a few quid by simply carpet-bombing the population of Tripoli with cheap ordnance.

“Unfortunately, avoiding civilian casualties who aren’t related to Libyan ministers drives up costs - but the spending shows the UK holds the higher moral ground, whatever that’s worth,” he announced brightly. “I know when this little exercise kicked off we told you it would only cost tens of millions, and indeed it is – twenty-six of them, to be precise.”

“But farting around trying to pinpoint genuine military targets is a terrific waste of fuel,” he added. “We could save a small fortune if our brave Tornado flyboys were to simply hang dumb ironmongery off the wings until they creak, then dump the lot in the general vicinity of downtown Tripoli and bugger off straight back to Italy for fresh bombs.”

“Your choice, taxpayers,” he smiled. “How many dead wog kids is the NHS worth?”