Friday, 20 May 2011

Netunyahu Coins World’s Greatest Understatement

Israeli prime minister Benjamin Netunyahu today made the record books, as he told America - with unprecedented understatement – that it “does not understand reality”.

“Mr Netunyahu was talking specifically about Washington’s blithe suggestion that Israel revert to its pre-1967 borders, of course,” commented a spokesman for Ripley’s Believe-It Truthitorium (formerly Ripley’s Believe-It-Or-Not Odditorium), “But when you factor in all the crap that’s currently floating around about tomorrow’s Rapture and add it to decades of furious denials of the bleeding obvious and equally barmy belief in any old nonsense that they pick up on Fox News Channel – well, to say that Americans don’t understand reality is like… like… No, I’m sorry, there’s simply no adequate simile or metaphor in any known language.”

“Except perhaps the secret language spoken by angels, greys, lizard men and beings from the eleventh dimension,” he added. “Yeah, I bet they know exactly what it’s like.”

David Cameron, meanwhile, was quick to declare Britain’s unqualified and enthusiastic support for whatever load of utter cobblers America thinks it does understand.

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