Government Hates Us, Says Bumptious Comedy-Sidekick Policeman

That will be all

The chairman of the sergeants committee, PC49, warned fellow police officers today that government ministers “hate the police service” and want to destroy it, demonstrating the shrewd powers of observation for which police sergeants are renowned throughout Britain.

An inspector swiftly called, telling his bumptious underling to go and look after the motor, and explained to members of the press: “Ladies and gentlemen, I’m afraid I must apologise for Sergeant PC49 who, in his admirable enthusiasm to make an arrest, regrettably has a slight tendency to bypass the methodical deductive process - usually with comic results."

"I can say quite categorically that the government is not on our list of suspects," he added. "Everybody else in Britain, however, is.”