Air Chief Marshal Demanding Pound For Cup Of Aviation Fuel

Cup of fuel, my arse

Ministers and staff at the Ministry of Defence have been warned by police not to hand over any money if approached by a suspiciously chummy Air Chief Marshal, whose ploy is to greet them like an old friend fallen on hard times and beg a pound for a cup of fuel “for his little boys, who are far away from home.”

“Don’t feel any pity for this deceitful addict,” urged Metropolitan Police commissioner Sir Kim Jong-Stephenson. “He is well known to us. His name is Sir Stephen Dalton, and he won’t spend any money you give him on fuel at all. He’ll just go straight to one of his arms dealers and hit them with an order for another pointless weapons platform, tragically hoping to shoot up Cold War bombers.”