|Experts say this is how the duel would probably look|
“Ye natiouns yonge darling ys William yclept; / Yvil Andreue, his eem, moot he outrely bet,” proclaimed herald Geoffrey Chaucer in Ye Sonne. “With blade of Chynooke he moot smite hym somdel / And, as God ys his fere, ye trewe squier mowe preuaile.”
Tournament experts say that William is a “ful felowe”, his strength and dexterity honed to perfection by service in the forces of the Queen. However, they warned that Andrew – dextrously massaged to peak firmness by his 17-year-old squiress - will undoubtedly try to turn his bulk to his advantage, battering away at his young challenger with swingeing blows from his fearsomely-spiked ski-mace.
Scribes up and down the land have been quick to outline the potential spoils of victory, should plucky William take to the field and conquer his baleful uncle.
“Myn conseil to Wills,” suggested Mr Chaucer, “(May he take it or lete): / Maken quike fornicacioun with lusty made Kate.”