|Nothing sinister about the X-37B at all|
“We’re currently debriefing the poor schmuck,” admitted the general, “But for the life of him he can’t recall what he sent it up there for. Well, now that it’s landed safely at one of our airbases in California, he can open it up – we found the key at the back of his desk drawer, thankfully, at the bottom of a box of rubber bands – then take a peek inside the cargo bay and, with a bit of luck, see if there’s anything there that might jog his memory.”
Sceptical amateur astronomers have claimed that the X-37B may have been on some underhand surveillance mission, however, pointing out that it has been orbiting at an altitude of 255 miles - a zone typically reserved for spy satellites - and passing over trouble spots including North Korea and Afghanistan once every four days for the full seven months.
“My, my,” gasped the general. “Has it really? Now ain’t that the damnedest thing.”