Radical Cameron Gives You The Power To Moan To Your MP

Don't let all this power go to your head now

Prime minister David Cameron today unveiled a radical new redistribution of power, in which members of the public will be empowered to run the country in the place of centralised government authority.

The vehicle for the most drastic devolution of power since the beheading of King Charles I will be a government website, http:// www.blahblahblah.gov.uk, on which every official department must henceforth display a fatuously upbeat mission statement, along with a selection of random target dates for incomprehensible, abstract outcomes.

“Instead of bureaucratic accountability to the government machine,” blathered Mr Cameron, “These business plans bring in a new system of accountability to the people.”

“That is the horizon shift we need,” he added meaninglessly, before going on to say that power would be handed to people, families and communities.

When asked exactly how this amazing new power would change anything, Mr Cameron inanely rambled: “For a long time, government’s default position has been to solve problems by hoarding more power to the centre - passing laws, creating regulations, setting up taskforces.”

Mr Cameron was then pinned to the floor by enraged reporters, who demanded to know how people, families and communities might step up to the worthy task of passing laws, creating regulations and setting up taskforces all by themselves.

“Well, they can write to their MP,” he mumbled. “He will then laugh briefly at their bumptious incoherence and atrocious illiteracy before sending a one-line reply thanking them for their concern and expressing the sincere hope that he can count on their vote at the next election.”