Thursday 11 November 2010

Millions Turn Down The Sound On Call Of Duty: Black Ops For Two Minutes

Level 2 sure is hell
All across Britain, the harsh chatter of full-auto gunfire and the screams of the dying fell silent for two minutes at precisely 11am, as millions of gamers solemnly muted their consoles as they continued blasting away in the runaway smash-hit shooter, Call Of Duty: Black Ops.

“At the going down of the sun and in the morning, we will remember not to throw the grenades at our own squad at the end of the second level,” observed Xbox addict Josh Geake, after taking two minutes’ time out to search Google in vain for useful tips.

“The utter waste of Modern Warfare 2 is an appalling tragedy that is all too easily forgotten by the younger generation,” he sobbed. “I never finished that bastard, yet here I am again, stuck on sodding level 2 of Black Ops after forking out a hundred and thirty bastard quid for the Prestige limited edition.”

“We must never forget the mistakes of the past,” he mourned. “I’ll probably waste another small fortune on bloody Kinect, and what will it achieve? Nothing but more unnecessary pain and suffering. Lest we forget, the last time I had a go on my sister’s Wii I accidentally elbowed her right in the face and she fell through the coffee table. It was bloody hilarious.”

“Will we never learn?” he moaned plaintively, as he wasted his own team yet again.

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