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| Button has been promised Toy Story 3 if he behaves himself |
“Let’s face it, Jenson’s chances of retaining his title this year were wafer-thin even before we came to Interlagos this weekend,” admitted team principal Martin Whitmarsh, “And after his lame qualifying effort only managed to put the car on the sixth row of the grid, frankly there wasn’t a snowflake’s chance in hell of him hanging onto the championship.”
The team, however, was so impressed with the police driver - who reacted to the sudden appearance of gunmen, as Button and his entourage were stuck in a Sao Paulo traffic jam on the way back to the hotel, by gunning their bullet-proof Mercedes limo and recklessly barging other vehicles out of his path as he accelerated to safety – that they immediately offered him a contract to be Button’s race driver, starting immediately.
“It’s exactly the determination to get from A to B as swiftly as possible that Jenson so conspicuously lacks,” added Whitmarsh proudly.
While his anonymous driver is doggedly barging his way past title challengers Fernando Alonso, Sebastien Vettel, Mark Webber and team-mate Lewis Hamilton, Button will be sitting in the back seat with a stack of publicity photos and a biro.
“It’ll be nice to see Jenson doing something useful in a race for once,” admitted Whitmarsh, explaining that the pictures featured Lewis Hamilton, with Button under strict team orders to faithfully copy his team-mate’s signature onto them.
The biggest fear in the McLaren pit is that their new signing will lose valuable seconds by pulling Felipe Massa over and placing him under arrest, if he sees Massa blatantly allowing fellow Ferrari driver Alonso to overtake him.
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