Underclass Terrified By Runaway Social Engineering Train

Underclass: service terminates here

People ran screaming in terror yesterday, as a social engineering vehicle careered down the Tube at reckless speed, with nobodies at the controls.

The machinery of social reform had been coupled to the back of a long train of right-wing thought which was being used to make radical alterations to the Underclass system, when it suddenly became completely unhinged and began to roll backwards, gaining momentum rapidly and causing chaos as it hurtled past people’s heads, threatening to suck them all into a dark, Victorian tunnel towards a dead end.

“I was looking down that tunnel only moments earlier,” said a shocked eyewitness, moments after the rattling juggernaut charged past. “There was no light at the end of it, and I’m sure there’s going to be one hell of a mess when it hits the buffers.”

“It’s a good job there were nobodies on board,” he added. “Apart from a lot of cheering Tories and several hapless Lib Dem passengers, of course.”

A spokesman for the Underclass later apologised for causing any inconvenience - but warned that unpleasant incidents were bound to become more commonplace, as profit-driven social engineers with no real experience tinkered more and more with a complex but essential system which had been delivering fewer and fewer benefits to its users for many years.