Hated BBC To Be Closed Down

The hated BBC could well see the licence fee cut within a year, said James Murdoch today, without moving his lips, as the first step towards eradicating the evil, thieving corporate monster which has blighted your lives by cynically giving your money to its staff.

Mr Murdoch’s hilarious dummy, Culture Secretary Jeremy Hunt, had reporters in stitches when he added: “Now take your hand out of my arse, daddy’s boy.”

Sky viewers, meanwhile, were reported to be ecstatic about the outstanding value for money they received from their monthly subscriptions, as long as they could continue to have football matches beamed directly into their eyeballs for every waking second of their lives.