As furious Greeks virtually shut down their country in protest at swingeing cuts, the sanguine British public shook their heads disdainfully and cracked open another can of Tesco Value beer-style drink.
"Typical bloody lefty strikers," said Andrew Mann, as he trudged towards the call centre where he will spend the next twelve hours fast-talking pensioners into replacing the double glazing they bought last year. "Couldn't give a toss about the inconvenience to Joe Public. Join a trade union? - I'd rather die."
Sammi-Jo Bloggs, a passing shelf-stacker on her way to fill Tesco with more cheap booze and expensive bread, echoed her agreement: "Bleedin' trots yeah, holdin' the country to ransom yeah? I reckon right iss all that 'ot weva, goes to their 'eds innit? Fank fuck it cooden 'appen 'ere like innit right jenotameen?"
To the chagrin of their government, as yet the overexcited and unmistakeably foreign inhabitants of Greece show no signs of sinking apathetically into their sofas and allowing their anger at being forced by the IMF and Europe to bear the brunt of their national economic meltdown to be harmlessly dissipated by an alcohol-assisted saturation diet of Corinthian Street, CreteEnders or The Chi Factor.
"If the British public vote us in, they will be giving us a clear mandate to squeeze them until they bleed money from every pore," beamed Tory shadow chancellor George Osborne, refuting Lib Dem leader and ghastly foreigner Nick Clegg's earlier claim that massive cuts could lead to similar mass protests on the streets of Britain. "So that's all right then."
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