Friday 2 October 2009

Newly-Released Video Tops Charts In Shalitmania-Struck Israel

Captured soldier Gilad Shalit's long-awaited new video has broken all records in Israel, going straight to the top of the Israeli charts on the day it was released.

The 23-year-old member of the Israeli Defence Force rocketed to fame two years ago when Palestinian agents dug under the wall that Israel built around them, made an unscheduled personal appearance at a border checkpoint and selected him at gunpoint from several rival candidates, ensuring worldwide headlines for the young Israeli. He has spent the intervening time being carefully groomed for stardom in an undisclosed location in the Gaza, prior to today's dazzling launch of his debut video in a worldwide blaze of publicity.

The video went on sale in Israel at the very reasonable price of just 20 Palestinian women.

"We all love Gilad Shalit! He's like totally dreamy. I go all damp just thinking about him," screamed a typical semi-hysterical fan, prime minister Benjamin Netunyahu, jumping up and down and clutching a picture of his heart-throb. "I'd be prepared to do absolutely anything for a chance to see him live on stage in Tel Aviv."

"Regardless of international opinion," he added.

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