You and your best friend are filthy child-molesting perverts, said Ofsted today, but your children will be OK if you both give the government some money.
The advice comes after two Milton Keynes policewomen were revealed for the sick paedophiles they are, after they shamelessly concocted an evil plot to take turns looking after each other's children when one of them was working.
"Offering to look after your best mate's kids if they do the same for you? Hah! That's one of the oldest trust-building tricks in the Pervs' Handbook," sneered an Ofsted spokesman. "Only the security of knowing that you and your mate have each handed over £67 to the government for a criminal record check will guarantee safety for your vulnerable little ones. And theirs, you sick monster."
"On the other hand, if it's a one-way trade, well, that's perfectly OK," he added. "Only a saint anointed by the Almighty Himself would offer to look after your children for no reward but the simple pleasure of having your children."
"We can't have people doing things for each other out of friendship," said a spokesman for the government. " Where would that end, I ask you? In no time at all you'd be staring the breakdown of society itself squarely in the face. I mean, where's our cut?"
No comments:
Post a Comment