Prime minister Gordon Brown has apologised unreservedly to the nation this morning, after inadvertently giving the impression that he might briefly gain respite from his awful existence as a frowning picture of abject misery for one fleeting moment around eleven in the morning.
In a hard-hitting webchat with the shrewd political inquisitors of Mumsnet yesterday, a glowering Mr Brown repeatedly declined to answer probing questions concerning his favourite biscuit.
"So this is me rite - 'awrite mista president high-an-bleedin-mitey Braan or woteva ya name is - jer like Jammy Dojas innit?', an ees all 'juno me eye got rilly fukt rite playin sam fany Scotland vershun uv footy but its like nafin yeah'," said veteran interviewer Sammi-Jo, 16. "Then rite I only arst him agin like seventeen bladdy times an ees still tawkin bollocks. I wood of kep cuttin an pastin all day jenotameen, but I ad to like pick me dorta Angelina Beyoncé ap frum me mums boyfrens ahse an go fra chat wiv me probation offisa innit."
Mr Brown later had an apparent change of heart and posted a message on Twitter, telling his legions of fans that he did enjoy a chocolate biscuit for elevenses with his cup of cold water.
However, this morning Downing Street issued a further clarification, saying: "Mr Brown appreciates that it is more than Britain can bear to imagine him relishing, even for a second, the smooth taste of a chocolate digestive. He apologises for giving people the erroneous impression that he has any notion whatsoever of the concept of pleasure, and would like to reassure the nation that food, to him, is no more enjoyable than filling your car up with petrol, if you can remember the days when you could afford to."
No comments:
Post a Comment