Concerns are being raised about the amount of information the police are gathering about innocent citizens, it emerged today, after an officer had a narrow escape when a wobbly seven-foot pile of manila folders nearly toppled over on him.
The dodgy dossiers - which were only just stabilised in time by the quick-thinking application of a truncheon - contained 1500 photographs taken on demonstrations in the capital, together with masses of confidential information about innocent members of the public which the police extracted from teachers, community workers and others in a position of trust.
"Who did you say you were again?" commented a police spokesman. "Nev... that's not your real name, is it? How was your shopping trip this afternoon, sir? Good to see you're taking your own bag along - but with respect, seeing as you don't like Sainsbury's bread and you're running a bit low, wouldn't you have been better off going to Marks and Sparks instead? Now, what can I do for you?"
Civil liberties campaigners who just don't seem to realise that each and every one of us could be snuffed out in an instant warned that Britain's public surveillance measures were rapidly approaching levels formerly seen in Nazi Germany and the Soviet Union.
"That's completely ridiculous," sneered a Home Office spokesman. "This is England, for God's sake. It couldn't possibly happen here. Anyone who thinks otherwise is in serious need of re-education."
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