The world threw its cares to the wind yesterday and rejoiced, as a brave pop star somehow managed to summon up the courage to walk out onto a stage and sing some of his songs.
Many pop industry experts said it simply couldn't be done - especially after a disastrous appearance on The X Factor, in which the pop star's faltering confidence was cruelly shattered by having to open a door all by himself. However, no malign set-based disasters manifested themselves yesterday, when Robbie Williams mastered his inner demons and heroically strode out onto the stage of the Roundhouse to kick off the BBC Proms in return for a very large cheque.
The fragile Williams has battled with the tragic medical condition known as stage fright for years, and used to play only stadium gigs so that no fans would be close enough to notice him soiling himself in sheer terror - making the intimacy of the 3,000-capacity Roundhouse all the more daunting for the frightened singer.
Williams' preparations for his triumphant return are a closely-guarded secret. However, a strong scent of forest pine pervading the front rows suggested that the dry ice machines on stage may have been filled with industrial-strength air freshener - while observant fans watching on TV around the world claim that freeze-framing revealed that many of their plucky hero's dance routines involved shaking a trouser leg over a small grille set into the stage.
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