The public should be force-fed every day with carcinogens because chavscum are too bloody ignorant to take folic acid supplements when trying for a baby, according to the Food Standards Agency.
"In order for folic acid to prevent spina bifida in the foetus, it should not just be taken during pregnancy but beforehand, too," said a doctor who knows better than you. "However, these manky slappers just drop their pants on a whim round the back of a nightclub after ten Bacardi Breezers and don't realise they're even pregnant until a brat drops into the toilet bowl one day - so any talk of responsible family planning is a bit fatuous, to say the least. The time has surely come to force every man, woman and child in the country to ingest synthetic folic acid on a daily basis, by pumping every single loaf of bread so full of the stuff that one slice will short out a toaster."
The FSA dismissed US and Canadian research which suggests that, since the fortification of bread flour in those countries in the 90s, cases of bowel cancer have increased.
"Call this research? It's a crock of shit," said the doctor, ripping up the reports. "It's probably just that, back in the good old days when the idiot public knew its place, those who were dying in unbearable agony as their digestive tract rotted away quite rightly felt it wasn't particularly worth troubling their terribly busy and extremely important GP about it."
"Of course, since folates are B-vitamins which occur naturally in vegetables, we wouldn't have to force-feed everyone with this stuff at all, if they'd just eat a pile of sprouts or a cabbage a day like they're supposed to," he snarled. "Bloody general public - I tell you, I've had it up to here with the fuckers. Somebody get me a scalpel! Some lucky bastard in A&E is going to get a life-changing operation, whether they need it or not."
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