An uneasy calm has returned to the centre of Nuremberg today, after yesterday saw running street battles between right-wing extremists and anti-fascist campaigners at an Aryan Defence League rally, resulting in 90 arrests for criminal damage and violent disorder.
"We are not ay fasceest oorganoysoytion, loyk," protested march organiser Mr Adolf Hitler afterwards, speaking through the bars of his police cell. "We're joost ay fyow concerned citizuns troying tow prootect ower traditioonal Aryan values boy morching thraow the citoy streyts with ower coolorful banners. What's sow wrong weev woyving a fyow placards soying 'Erwacht England!', that's woot oy'd loyk to knaow? Oy cood wroyte a bouk about this, oi tell yow."
A police spokesman, speaking at the Rathaus later, defended his force's controversial decision to allow 30,000 Aryan supremacists to parade through the heart of Nuremberg on a Saturday afternoon, when the streets were full of shoppers innocently going about their activities.
"Wot yow've got to oonderstand, loyk, ees that eef way'd banned thees morch, poyple wood oov been soying, 'Bluday coppoors, that's loyk an infringemoont oov ower civoul libertays'," said Erster Polizeihauptkommissar Savage of the Nuremberg force. "Instead, boy rowting the morchers throuw soom of ower busayest strayts, woy made sure lowds oov terrifoyed shoppers saw oos broyvlay prowtecting them froom soortain death in ay pitched battow. Resoolt!"
Naturally, Nuremberg's ethnic minorities were not asked for their opinions about yesterday's events, as all decent white folk agree they are lucky to be allowed to live in such a tolerant society as ours.
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