Tuesday 8 September 2009

Silly White Twit Jailed For Plotting to Harmlessly Kill All Asians

There were no calls today to outlaw the British National Party as a terrorist organisation, after 44-year-old Neil Lewington, a "harmless" white "oddball" electrician with "a rather sad life", was jailed indefinitely for plotting to embark on a "tragi-comic" bombing campaign targeted at Asian families in the UK.

"So he had a notebook labelled Waffen SS UK Members' Handbook, full of plans for making a variety of explosive devices, and a room full of racist music and literature," said Lewington's QC. "Where's the harm in that? Everyone's entitled to a hobby."

Lewington's handwritten manifesto of race-hate was probably just part of some great novel his " dysfunctional" client was probably intending to write one day, he added.

Britain's specialist security services were congratulating themselves on all the painstaking undercover surveillance, infiltration and information-gathering they didn't do to put the "silly" unemployed "twit" behind bars, as his "fantastic" bomb factory was only discovered by purest chance after he was arrested - for drunkenly abusing a train conductor - whilst relieving himself on the platform at Lowestoft station.

Meanwhile, the media continues to diligently report every last detail of the lives of the three evil murdering Muslim fiends convicted of planning to blast every single aeroplane out of Britain's skies with a bottle of pop, to ensure that everyone will know how to spot a terrorist.

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