Communities Secretary John Denham has been wheeled out by the government to reassure Middle England that, just because the Labour Party is abandoning its totalitarian ID card scheme and renationalising a large chunk of the railways, it has still forgotten its founding principles.
"I want to tell the South East not to panic - all that old lefty claptrap about narrowing the gap between rich and poor is as dead as a dodo," he told the Fabian Society. "Harriet Harperson can huff and puff all she likes about equality - but don't worry, she's only there to appeal to those elderly cloth-capped northerners who get dusted off and wheeled to the polling stations every few years because they fondly believe that nice Mr Attlee is still in the driving seat."
"Between you, me and the security gate, we're all selfish, greedy middle-class professionals nowadays," smiled Mr Denham. "The Labour Party was built on the blood, sweat and toil of the working class, who struggled to build a future in which their descendants would have a better life. Well, we're their descendents and we're having a high old time - I mean, look at how much we've been fiddling on expenses. Rest assured, Middle England, we're just like you."
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