The entire population of the UK is frantically checking pockets, upending purses, smashing piggy banks and mugging passers-by in a desperate search for valuable 20p coins, after rare coin traders the London Mint Office revealed that coins lacking a date - from a defective batch which the Royal Mint failed to spot - were worth up to £50 to collectors.
Between 50,000 and 200,000 of the coins - the exact figure is unknown, as nobody at the Royal Mint is familiar with numbers - are believed to be in circulation.
When the new coin was designed last year, the date was supposed to be moved from the obverse to the face of the coin - but the old, undated face design was used by mistake.
"We're at a loss to understand how this wasn't spotted," said a spokesman for the Royal Mint from his cell at the Tower of London. "We ran it through the spell checker and everything."
Plans to sever the hands of the entire staff of the venerable institution with axes were cancelled, however, by the direct intervention of Gordon Brown. The relieved coiners were driven back to their workplace and told to begin designing a series of limited-edition botch jobs for every coin of the realm.
Planned future 'mistakes' are likely to include £2 coins with the centre missing, circular 50p pieces, 'Every One A Winner!!!' replacing the script around the edge of the £1 coin and Mohammed Fayed's profile replacing the queen on the 5p coin.
"If every single coin in circulation is worth £50, regardless of face value, Britain can repay my enormous borrowings in a year or so," announced the Prime Minister. "Why, I went out this morning and bought my regular copy of the Daily Mail to see what my policies for the next year would be - and, as luck would have it, my change from a fiver is worth more than ten times what I tendered. Imagine how much it would be worth if every single coin had a value of £50. Especially if I asked for it in pennies."
"Vote Labour," he added. "You know how good we are at cocking things up."
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