Bosses at oil giant Total have sacked 647 uncouth strikers at their Lindsay refinery in Lincolnshire, a week into the unofficial strike that has halted the glorious construction of a desulphurisation plant at the site, and invited the sacked vermin to grovel nicely on their hands and knees if they want to ever work again.
"These so-called strikes are the work of bomb-throwing anarchist troublemakers, you mark my words," said a gentleman in a top hat who spoke for the board of directors. "I wouldn't be surprised if they weren't all in the pay of the Kaiser, or the Tsar of all the Russias. I shall be having words with the local magistrate, with a view to having them and their families thrown into the workhouse forthwith."
Sympathy strikes have broken out across the country, in response to what is perceived by the uneducated masses as the management's high-handed attitude.
"Beggin' yer pardon, sur," said a flat-capped prole who looked like he hadn't seen a bath in his life, "But the lads 'as arst fer arbliterated torks wi' the management, wot's bin turned dahn flat. 'Corse, they knaws as 'ow there's loads wi'owt work, wot'll be brung in ter replace them as've bin sacked. T'int fair, a'll tell thee straight. Oh, surr, if only there were some kine o' perlitical party wot reppersented the 'opes an' dreams o' the ordin'ry workin' clarses. But a'll not see it in moy lifetime."
"I say there, arrest that man!" said a manager, with a gold chain hanging from his waistcoat.
The government refused to comment on the strike, other than to say it was entirely a matter for the company to treat its servants as it saw fit.
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