The Hatred Of An Orange

Several Jewish oranges are still feared to be on the loose in Tehran, despite the best efforts of the Iranian authorities to put the squeeze on them.

Ordinary Iranians screamed and ran from city markets at the sight of the dreaded Jaffa labels, marking the oranges as Zionist infiltrators.

"I warn the devout people of Iran that eating these evil Israeli fruits will render them forever unclean in the eyes of God," said deputy customs chief Mohammed Reza Nadiri. "The prophet is very clear on this. It is clearly a plot hatched by devious agents of Mossad to mock Islam in front of the entire world. Unfortunately, despite our best efforts, it seems to be succeeding."

The oranges were imported from Dubai in Chinese-labelled boxes, but 'Jaffa Sweetie' labels identified the individual fruits as Jewish. China has been swift to deny allegations that the oranges are cheap counterfeits made by children in a Shanghai sweat shop.

Faithful Tehran residents were told to be vigilant and report any sightings of fugitive fruit to their nearest imam.

"These Jewish oranges are easy to identify," advised President Ahmedinejad in a televised appeal to the nation. "Their skins have already been removed."