A professor of anthropology has been suspended by the University of East Enders for saying nasty, hurtful things about bankers on the radio.
Speaking on Radio 4's PM programme after Sir Fred Badwin's Edinburgh home was slightly damaged by dangerous insurrectionists earler in the week, Professor Chris Peasant made several leaden jokes about hanging the much-maligned financiers from lamp-posts.
The prestigious University of East Enders has confirmed that Professor Peasant has been suspended from his job and neck, pending investigation into whether he has been preaching sedition to first-year students taking his module, 'Killing The Rich: Ritual Sacrifice in Modern Tribal Society'. The university said that while it remained absolutely committed to upholding the right to freedom of expression, it was even more committed to the continuation of its funding from the government.
Police have warned that several notorious activist groups from the 1990s - including the Newbury Bypass protesters and the University of Plymouth's infamous Rent Strike Committee - are reforming and forging new alliances dedicated to the single-minded aim of overthrowing the established world order and ushering in a new Dark Age of death and destruction.
"Handy that we've just taken delivery of another six thousand Tasers, then," smiled a Home Office spokesman. "Incitement to violence is unacceptable and, by making these ill-judged comments, Professor Peasant has recklessly incited police officers to zap the living shit out of anybody sporting a goatee or a hand-knitted Peruvian jumper inside the M25 next weekend."